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Friday, June 23, 2006

Women and choice

After reading this I can no longer avoid my blog.

My questions, what SHOULD a woman do and become? Why do we need to justify our choice? What is the ideal life and role for woman? Who should set that ideal?

To be honest, I was not dumbfounded that a woman choose to be a mother, I was more dumbfounded by the implicit idealization of woman. The writing I cite (if this is the correct term for grabbing one's article and putting it on my own page) here, in my opinion, tries to provide a counter-argument for 'feminist' woman-independence arguments. The article proudly argues that a-could-be-carrier-woman CAN choose to be a mother. Be it. But shouldn't the availability of choices is more important than what a person choose?

This is my problem. The author idealization of woman somehow presents (or should I say imposes?) an idea what a woman should choose? Don't you think we should ask the women on what they want to do in their lives, instead of deciding for them on what they SHOULD do?

So, is a well educated woman doomed to be a carrier woman? I never and will never say that! But does our society ever try to listen to the voice of women who are felling 'trapped' in their family routine and wish to accomplish something outside the family boundary and shadow? I don't think so. Everybody has the right to choose, although not all of us have choices. I don't think the could-be-carrier-women who choose to be mothers and housewives should be regarded more highly than the should-be-mothers-and-housewives who choose to be carrier women, and vice versa.

But I do think that all women should have all choices available to them. Most importantly, we should not need to justify ourselves when we choose to break away from the social expectation of woman. Social expectation is constructed throughout time, it is not and will never be in the absolut term.

So, give us education, give us opportunities, give us choices, give us freedom, give us voices and congratulate us for WHATEVER choice we will make in our life. Self-fulfilment choices are not comparable to one another, as 'the self' should never be compared and judged!

Is woman independence that scary and unwanted?

By the way, I wonder if you are aware that one main policy advice to solve rural chronic poverty and population pressure is actually women education? Women empowerement is not an empty slogan, it is actually the remedy of many social problems.

As my favorite advertisement says "Derrière les progrès, il y a toujours des femmes".


  • Ahahah... Indeed, we're at the same topic. I'm first! It's posted yesterday :D (yea right,like that matters! hihihi)

    Well, there IS (or are?) an idealization of a woman. However, being an ideal woman is far from easy. There's no such thing, there would only be a good woman who always learns to reach the ideal idea (on what she understands, of course).

    By the way, shouldn't it be 'availability'?

    By Anonymous Lita, at June 23, 2006 1:27 PM  

  • Thanks for the correction. :)

    I refuse any ideal that is imposed on someone from somebody else. An ideal should come from one's perception, and not from others'.

    Just tired to realize that I may still have to justify my choice.

    By Blogger Pipit, at June 23, 2006 1:44 PM  

  • here goes my 2 cent nonsense:

    there's no such thing as a perfect human that satisfies everybody. one always judges others consciously or not and because one's thoughts are only for him/herself, there are always multiple views of an abstract thing, such as this notion of a "perfect"/"ideal" person.

    i strongly believe that the key is knowledge, tolerance and equality. indeed, i often fall into my own prejudism, but i try my best to exercise/use them.

    with regard to this "idealization" of a woman, i'd say, don't be bothered. there's no need to justify yourself as long as you feel comfortable with your choice and aware of the consequences. one saying that i kinda like to some extent: "lu lu, gue gue".

    By Anonymous mahli, at June 23, 2006 3:02 PM  

  • I'm with you, girl. The society (ours, that is) somehow put us in a court-like situation forcing us to justify our choices, which shouldn't be. One doesn't have any obligations to explain their options unless the choice put another party in a more unfortunate situation. Unfortunately, we're surrounded by people who enjoys judging others, questioning, either it has an impact to their lives, or just for the sake of satisfying their nosy curiosity.

    Ah well, glad to have you back.


    By Anonymous Anonymous, at June 24, 2006 5:16 PM  

  • as a man...
    ofcourse we can told what women do as their responsibility...
    and viseversa
    as a woman...
    you can told what men do for their responsibility...

    it just the way of thinking... but accumulation of thought to be a society habits
    what we could do with that????
    following it... or ..??
    just simply... we live in society that must grow and always change...

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at July 18, 2006 10:17 AM  

  • There is nothing perfect/ideal in this world. It is the perception that matters. There is no need for you to give justifications for your choices. It is all about you. Justification what you give may not be acceptable by the society or the people around you... b'coz we interpret things differently and it is that what varies.. From human to human...
    But Make sure your choice what ever it is shouldn't lead other to sin. Then you are safe and will enjoy your choice for sure.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at March 06, 2008 4:25 PM  

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